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March 28, 2010
This morning, I really want to sing and praise my Lord. I open my music and play all my christian songs . Then, I find this pretty song:
My Father’s Eyes
Sailing down behind the sun,
Waiting for my prince to come.
Praying for the healing rain
To restore my soul again.
Just a toerag on the run.
How did I get here?
What have I done?
When will all my hopes arise?
How will I know him?
When I look in my father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.
When I look in my father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.
Then the light begins to shine
And I hear those ancient lullabies.
And as I watch this seedling grow,
Feel my heart start to overflow.
Where do I find the words to say?
How do I teach him?
What do we play?
Bit by bit, I’ve realized
That’s when I need them,
That’s when I need my father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.
My Father’s Eyes
That’s when I need my father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.
Then the jagged edge appears
Through the distant clouds of tears.
I’m like a bridge that was washed away;
My foundations were made of clay.
As my soul slides down to die.
How could I lose him?
What did I try?
Bit by bit, I’ve realized
That he was here with me;
I looked into my father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.
I looked into my father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.
I looked into my father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.
Suddenly, I find that this song is really picturing me for these days. It seems like my Lord talks to me to always believe in Him in everything happening in my life.
In many times, I always pray to my Lord, give me someone to cherish me up. Please, make people to give their attention for me, and many others. I feel lonely. My soul seems to be empty. I need my prince to fulfill the emptiness and to heal all my wounds purely. I am waiting and waiting, but no one has came. I am upset. I am sad. I am crying. I am shouting, You are not fair my Lord. You don’t love me. You don’t want to see me happy. Why? Why? I almost do not realize that far before I’m asking Him my prince, He has given not only prince in my dream for me, but also He gives me His beloved and mighty Son, lovely Jesus. He is always here, with me and with you. He never forgets us. He never leaves us. He is more than prince of my dream. Looking into our Father’s Eyes.
Thank You My Lord for making me become a beautiful lady in You… Help me to keep this beautiful lady in me…
March 19, 2010
Crying… yeah…crying becomes one of my favorite activities. Why? Of course because I can’t stand on everything anymore, I can’t handle my emotion, I can’t screaming, then I can’t handle this tears anymore. Too many problems, too many hatred, too many gossips, too many egos, and too many competition. My tears can’t solve them, but I can feel the real me inside of liters of them. The real me who can’t do anything well. I’ve tried harder and harder, but still it’s meaningless. Now, I’m thirsty, I’m hungry, I’m sick, and I’m really really tired. Second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day is really hard for me. Nothing I can do. I’m too weak and have no power.Who am I? I am nothing. Today I can keep my spirit to fight, but tomorrow I can’t. Really weak. Poor me!!!
Then, I heard a really really peace voice, “My dear daughter, I love you and I’d glad to hear all of your problems. Although all this world don’t wanna hear you and don’t care to you, I still love you. You are really precious to me, so talk to me dear. I’ll listen to you and always help you in the ways that you never think about”. And, I’m crying again, but it’s the tear of happiness. I’m to silly to forget Him. He gives me his dearest Son, ,,how can I forget Him??? With tears and with all my weakness, I come to Him. I talk to Him. I’m crying and I give all up in front of Him. Then, I can feel He hugs me and says,”Don’t worry my lovely daughter, I’m always with you. In anytime you breath, I’m always available inside you. Trust me. I’ll help you in every difficulties you face as long as you walk with me. You’re special and really precious to me. I’m always want to see you smile, laugh, and bright. I’m also sad if you’re sad because I really really can feel your feelings. I’m your Dad. Let me keep you in my hug and please stay by me”.
I stop crying and close my eyes. Yes, He really hugs me. It is really peace. I can feel His deep love to me.
Then, He says,”My dear daughter, can you smile for me now? I know that you can face this world. I know that you can keep brightening. You have such great spirit. Many people needs you to give them the strength to struggle, although you can’t realize it now. Trust your heart and always keep your faith. Remember, I’m always here, inside your heart, as long as you provide a little space for me in your heart. And, please love everybody like I love you. I promise, you’ll get your happiness”.
Then, I wake up and get up and smile to this world.
Thank You My GOD, thank You Jesus for always besides me. Thank You for the love. The pure love that gives me strength to keep brightening. The pure love that makes me denying all the worlds’ hatred. The pure love that makes me love others. Thank You Lord…
August 24, 2009
In many times recently, I really often feel guilty for many things I did. I always hate the guilty feeling, but I didn’t know what I should do. I don’t know why,,,but I always want to cry n screaming.
I hate this,,,I hate that,,, I never feel satisfied… It’s really such a painful life I think…But, I can do nothing…The most awful thing for me is I feel I’m so far from my Jesus, although actually He always be with me… My tears also wasn’t out although I had cried so much inside my heart… Ohhh,,,please help me,,,say, what should I do???
All my plans do not go well,,, My final project is not finished yet and it is almost deadline.. I feel that I am the most stupid person in this world…I’m nothing,,,I’m nothing…I screamed this thing day by day and felt down so deeply..
Thank You my Lord,,,This nice greeting is not enough to express all Your kindness for me… In this hard condition, You give me one of my best friends to make me a little relax… Having fun, sharing many stories n things, make me think that yeachhh I’m special…I’m special for You, for her, for my families, n for others….
It’s also right that I’m nothing… I’m really nothing without You, but I can do everything in You… Nothing possible in Your name… I believe it… But, dear Jesus, please help me to keep this beautiful faith of mine and Never Leave me Alone…
June 6, 2009
Love…
what is love???
Many people say ” I love u” easily to others they like, but there are so many people too find it difficult to say that.
Is love same with like???
There are so many things too to describe how it feels when someone’s falling in love… “To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven….Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit….Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end….Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside….Love has no awareness of merit or demerit; it has no scale… Love loves; this is its nature….Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence….Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever….In the final analysis, love is the only reflection of man’s worth….”
So, what is love actually???
I don’t know what it is. I just simply want to say that I can feel this love sincerely when I see my relationship with my parents, my brothers, and my sister. But, I can say their love is not enough for my heart’s space.
I need more…..
I try to find another love…from my friends…and from others who say the sentence ” I love u”… But, it is also not enough for my heart.
I become worried and think if there is something wrong in me. I don’t know what love is, but I can feel it and need more, even there are so much love given to me…
I confused for the long time until finally, He gives me the answer…There is no love in this world can fulfill our heart or our lives except His love… He’s the one… When u get His love, u’ll feel that life is perfect now…His love is available for everyone, the matter is, do u want to receive it???
April 26, 2009
I don’t know what to say…Why u always come to my life without reason?
U’re my past…I don’t want to remember u again…it’s enough…It has been so long for me to wait u…But, u’re still one of the best guys I ever met…
It’ s better for me to give chance to others…
But, why? why? why?
When I start with others, u always come to my life…again n again…even if we have not met for such a long time… u came to my dreams, like yesterday…
Why u do this to me??
